31 August 2006


The more I let go and allow, the more things just seem to work themselves out. Sky does his thing... and sometimes I laugh and hug him, and other times, I feel totally perplexed and unsure how to proceed. I can see Life working through us....and that how whatever happens is not personal. I am becoming more a witness to this play and it is more beautiful and fulfilling than clinging to the assigned character called "me."

I thought I'd be bored! Totally the opposite.

And now I've got to get the cutie pie off to swim lessons. To watch the waves and the light...

29 August 2006

first place?

my boy is only 2 years old and there are certain things i'm just not ready to see him learn.

we spent a week at the family summer cottage with my sister and her family. she has 2 kids. her oldest (boy) is 5 and her other is 3 (girl). i adore them both. they are fun and funny and really smart, sweet people.

in spending some time with them it was startling to me to see how interested in being right, first, best they were. the competition thing is alive for them. maybe it brought back memories of my own childhood, but it made me really sad to see how hard they worked to be right, best, first. to one-up each other. the youngest is only 3! granted she is precocius. she started doing everything (sit, walk, talk) way before most kids her age, but still. i know it happens eventually and for some kids it's earlier than others. for my sisters' little girl, it happened at an early age probably because she has an older sibling.

but, i felt like i wanted to shelter my son from learning that behavior. right now he really has no sense of first or best. and therefore he doesn't know how to make any one else feel badly and i don't want him be in a position of feeling badly if someone makes him feel less then them or second to them or (please let me never hear this coming from his mouth) a loser.

am i just an overly worried mom who can't come to terms with the fact that it's a big, bad world out there and soon enough he'll find that out? or can there be some way of keeping that knowledge from him for as long as possible without making him a recluse?

i want to teach him HOW to deal with those situations, so that he can rise to new challenges and have tools to navigate them. and at the same time i want so badly to protect him. i'm not sure how to make the two desires co-exist.

part of what i am learning about myself as a mom is that i'm in no hurry. when he turned 1 people assumed i'd be stuffing cake and ice cream down his throat. nutrition is really important to me, so, no, i didn't. i feel that he has his whole life to eat sweets. no need to start that so young. when were on vacation with my sister we felt like maybe we should have taken him to the baseball game that the others went to. it was at night, he'd have missed bedtime and been cranky as all get out, so no. not worth it. and he'll have years of going to baseball games. what about the water slide park? same deal. television and movies? there's time. my niece was watching E.T. and don't judge my sister for letting her watch it, but with bb i'm in no hurry. when it's time for all of these things, i'll know. and he doesn't know what he's missing. and i'm glad. i don't want him to know how it feels to be "last." i don't want him to melt down at the ball park because he's tired. how's that fair to him? and i don't want him to see E.T. in the plastic bubble and elliot freaking out. it's too scary. there's time.

isn't there?

or am i an overprotective freak?

25 August 2006

looking into the future

the other night i was getting bb ready for bed. we were sitting on the guest bed having a little snack and he comes over and leans on me and says, "how are YOU today?" i tried SO hard not to laugh and to take him seriously because i wanted to see where the conversation would go, but he caught me. "fiiiine," i stuttered through a laugh. "how are you?" "good," he said.

today i overheard him talking to his trucks and cars and the now-famous jeep. he wasn't just talking, he was narrating to them like this:

i said, "jeep, want to go down the ramp?"
jeep said, "no, just take a rest."

i said "jeep want to go down the ramp?"
jeep said, "yes, go down NOW!"

(when the jeep fell)

oopsie! that's okay, jeep. that's okay.

everyday he becomes more conversational and i feel like anything could come out of his mouth. one day he's going to ask me "how are you today?" and a real conversation will ensue. he's only just turned 2, but it feels like 5. he feels old and big and like a boy. a real little boy. and i still sit and wonder how he's grown so fast. as if i haven't been here watching it.

i'm already becoming one of those "who told you you could grow up" kind of moms.
i'm already trying to sneak one more kiss then he really wants me to have.
i'm already missing him.

what am i going to do when kindegarten comes?

22 August 2006

updates galore!

here's the pictures i promised. we've had quite a summer. 2 birthdays (boy and hubby) and a great week at the beach with the fam. here's some photographic updates!

here is bb blowing out the candles on his icecream cake which i made and had a chocolate dumptruck on it and little work zone cones. being the spaz that i am, i put it on backwards (which no one noticed) then proceeded to obsess over having done it.

we have a party tradition that started at our wedding called "happy fun ball." it's basically volleyball with a beach ball. we love it because anyone can play, no one gets hurt, EVERYONE laughs--what could be better? it's fun to give the adults something fun to do at a kid's party. we can play for many many hours. it becomes "happy-but-somewhat-competitive-i-don't-care-if-the-mosquitos-are-eating
by the end of the day.

bb is way into vehicles of all kinds, but the jeep holds a special place in his heart. . . and his grammy knew that so she got him this jeep. he loved it. it was all he cared about at the entire party.

ALL. HE. CARED. ABOUT. (cake? what cake?)

here's my little boy getting some quality beach time. on this trip his language development took another step forward. he's really becoming quite the conversationalist. recent favoites include, "how are you today, mommy?" (after lots of banging) "i'm trying to open this!" and "i'm ready for a nap now." yes, we love that last one the most.

and the favorite beach activity award goes to. . .TRUCK CAKES! sand castles are so old school. we made "cakes" of every kind--bus, dumptruck, tractor and firetruck. good sandy times!

so, now that we're up to date, i hope to be a better blogger and start posting more often and keeping up with the Monday Munch. speaking of which the previously posted Apple Oat Pancakes were a hit with the niece and nephew last week.

OH! and i learned (sort of) how to knit! i'd show you a picture of my progress, but there's not much to see yet. hopefully soon i'll have a real, live, hand-knit scarf, though. wish me luck!

12 August 2006

vacation--all i ever wanted

it's my favorite time of the year! every august we pack up and head down to the family cottage near cape cod for a week of beachin' fun with my mom, my sister, her husband and their 2 kids. we eat a lot of fish and chips, ice cream and watermelon. we play at the beach all day and sit around the fire bowl at night. we look at old photographs and tell the same stories again and again every year. we look at the old growth chart on the wall that track's my and my sister's yearly progress. we complain about the bugs. we talk about the way things used to be "when we were kids." and we marvel at how we're NOT the kids anymore. we're the parents now and how did THAT happen? it's a place of much family history. and it's as comfortable as being in my own skin.

when i get back i promise to be a better blogger. beach photos and bb's 2nd birthday photos will be posted! Monday Munch will continue! i swear!

i hope your summers are breezy, beachy and not too buggy.

09 August 2006

Adventures of Babyfood

So this morning, after a couple weeks of reading "Super Baby food" during Sky's naps and whenever I had some spare time, I decided to plunge into my first attempt at homemade baby food.

Please understand that I don't cook. The worst part is that I really don't know how to organize things so that I'm not exhausted afterwards. However, I want Sky to get as much of a good foundation as possible (one I don't think I had).

As you can see from the amount of dishes this produces, one must be quite determined to see the process through. And I am determined (I think) - even with a baby yelling in the background for a breakfast that was due an hour before, and my discovering while the broccoli was steaming that babies aren't supposed to eat broccoli before eight months. Oh. Now you tell me. Well, I reason, he's almost 71/2, close enough for a little spoonful or two. Besides, I don't have time to figure out how to cook a butternut squash, and that's my only other option (these things are as dense and heavy as a tank. What in the hell is a butternut squash doing masquerading as a tan tank?!). Things would have continued to go along swimmingly until I cut my finger with my new, oh so sharp, Henkle knife.

So, now I'm bleeding on the broccoli I'm not supposed to be cooking, throwing little Fingerfoods at Sky to help him forget the feeling of starvation, and discovering that, yes, it is possible to make a tourniquet from a wet paper towel. Finally... the porridge is done (thank God for the Vitamix), the broccoli is pureed, the Brewer's yeast is added... and I sit down to feed my little angel his super nutritious breakfast. I am glowing. I did it! I offer him his first spoonful of my love and devotion... and see the face every mother prays to never see at mealtime. Squinty eyes, a puckered mouth, and a look that says, WHAT IN HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO HERE? DO YOU EXPECT ME TO EAT THIS STUFF?

What? How could this be? So I take a spoonful and... hmmm. I guess I didn't cook the porridge quite long enough after all, nor perhaps, puree it enough either. The broccoli needed a few secs longer in the blender as well - and the Brewer's yeast? Well, I love the stuff, so he just doesn't have a choice there. Still... I could see his point. Egads. At least he finished it - under much protest - and I followed it up with a banana and yogurt chaser, something that took me all of three minutes and which he loved. Of course. So ends my first adventure in baby food. I think I learned a lot, and hope I can pull my act together enough to make this slightly less bloody, and infinitely more smooth the next time.

Bon appetite!

05 August 2006

where've i been?

for the 2 or 3 of you who care,

i'm sorry to be so lax on posting. and i missed a monday munch! and probably will again. it's the sad truth.

where've i been?

1. we had a party for bb's 2nd birthday. it was major bigtime toddler fun. and it was a lot of work to do. photos and such to come.

2. it's been so effing hot here that i haven't had any energy to do much beyond dragging myself and my kid to the lake beach or pond to swim.

3. bubble and squeak (see sidebar web biz) is under major deadlines. busy busy!

4. i've been feeling major blog anxiety. nothing interesting to say. not funny. not thought-provoking. not original. blah.

i hope to back in action soon, though.

may your summers be filled with fresh fruit and lots of good old fashioned water play! marco polo anyone?