i'm having a day where i feel like a bad mom. i feel like all i have done for the past 2 days is say no. i am struggling with patience and not getting enough sleep. at night i wonder if i've done any lasting damage. did i create a memory today that bb will internalize?
it's not like i've yelled at him or grabbed him or done anything that harsh. i just am a mommy who needs a break and i'm not doing as good a job at being there for him.
there are so many things that are different than i thought they'd be. when you are childless you make all kinds of statements "i'll NEVER use a binky," "we DEFINITELY don't want to find out the sex of the baby," "what could be so hard about being with one little baby all day? cake!"
all i can say is, "you don't know until you get there---so theorize all you want." some of your theories and things will hold true. others not so much. that's what i've found, anyway.
i knew that there would be a lot of patience involved in being a full-time mommy. and i knew i'd struggle with it. and not just the typical things like helping him do something he can't do or dealing with crankiness. . .all of that i expected. what i didn't realize was that i'd have to learn the patience to do a LOT of things that are boring to me, but fun for a toddler. how many times can i do "big truck puzzle?" "you want to go touch the neighbor's Jeep AGAIN?"
lately i find that i relate to Mr. Mom a whole lot. remember that movie? the part where he talks about his brain turning to mush. i feel that way sometimes. and when i get into a room with other adults i feel like a babbling idiot because i haven't talked to anyone over the age of 3 in days. social graces have gone out the window.
do you ever feel stretched too thin? or that your mind is turning to mush? what do you do to help that feeling?
thankfully, i'm actually going away for most of the weekend. hitting the beach with my mom and leaving the boys behind. i know i'll miss them as soon as i pull out of the driveway, but man, i need a baby break. beach, meet butt. butt, meet beach. i think you'll be very happy together.