today was a monumental day in our lives. it was bb's first time being left with a babysitter. he will be 2 later this month and we've never left him with anyone other than relatives--and even that no so much. i'm a stay at home mom who nursed until he was 15mos. some would call me over protective, but i do what i feel is "right" for him. and we've rarely spent time apart.
i worried for a while about "smothering," "spoiling" and creating a dependent, needy kid. but truthfully, he's extremely independent and always has been to some degree. he is so smart, so kind, so sweet. he's willful and brave and i wouldn't change a thing.
so, i've tried (succeeding some days and not others) to stifle the voices in my head that say what i "should" do, what other mothers "must be thinking of me" and instead just go with my own instincts about mothering and about my child. but it's been hard. i can't help but compare myself to other moms. "SHE drops her kid off at a daycare/nanny's house for 3 hours a day so she can get time to herself." "THEY had a babysitter at 8mos. old." "WE must be freakishly over-adoring parents who don't have any perspective or know what we are doing."
i have issues with comparing myself to others, but in this case, with bb, i feel proud of how i have done. he's anything but spoiled and dependent.
and today he barely noticed we were leaving. he had a great time and so did we, because we were all ready for it. it was no big deal. that's the thing, i think timing is everything with kids. WHEN is he ready to learn how to sleep through the night? WHEN should i stop nursing? WHEN should we get a babysitter? there's no right answer. no one knows what is right for you and your family, but you. that's what i have learned. so, inner critic be dammed! go sit in the corner and think about what you've done.