20 May 2006

i'm a whiner sometimes

now that i have returned from the land of poison ivy i've been thinking a lot about why it had to happen. i am a person who believes things happen for a reason and that there are lessons in the hard stuff.

it doesn't sound so bad when you hear it, "yeah, so and so had bad case of poison ivy." but no one who hasn't been there before knows what it means. it means a rash and possibly bubbles of ooey stuff between your fingers. it means your eyes swelling up and barely opening. it means spending 100s of dollars on doctors, creams, lotions, none of which really stop the insane itching. and then add to that your little toddler looking at you with pity in his eyes and wanting to HOLD YOUR HAND and hug you. ummm. . .OUCH!

so, why me? why this? well, maybe because i'm a whiner. i'm never happy with what i HAVE and always am looking to the next thing or what i wish i had or what i wish was different in my life instead of being happy and (god forbid) content with what i have. i have a lot. and it really was a wake-up call to be sitting on the couch watching my mom change bb's diapers, feed him dinner and play with him (hubby has a ridiculous work schedule right now) when i couldn't. all i could think was, "i just want my life back."

and so i have it. and though i may fall into the realm of the whiney again for right now, i am so happy to be ABLE to do laundry. it sounds so melodramatic. i wasn't dying or having my hands amputated, i was just out of commission for a few days, but it felt dire. so, i guess for now, i am delighting in being able to make smoothies with bb and tucking him in and yep, changing his poopy diapers.

my life is pretty good. i've gotten a lot of what i asked for. so, no mo' whining. . . at least now.

No comments: