i've found that being parents is not easy on a marriage. hubby and i knew each other for 9 years before we got married. we had our son 4 years after our wedding. we've been together a long time. we've been thru a LOT. breaking up and getting back together, moving across the country twice, living near to poverty, figuring out how to be adults, 2+ years of trying to get pregnant.
we always felt we could survive anything. our friends would say that they envied our relationship and that they hoped to find one even somewhat like it someday.
and then we had a baby. and everything has been tested. our patience, our love, our communication skills. it's been hard. i won't lie. a lot harder than i thought.
my husband is the kind who believes that after a bazillion years together you should still be able to have butterflies in your tummy and romance like you did when first falling in love. is it really possible to maintain that? cause, dude, at as soon as that kid goes to sleep at night i'm done. i just don't have much more in me. frankly, a lot of the time, i just want to be left alone. finally some peace and quiet.
i'm a solitary person by nature, so having a child was a big adjustment. i went from having lots of alone time to none. it used to be a huge part of who i was and how i functioned. my husband would go out on the weekends with friends and i would opt to stay home many nights with a big bowl of popcorn, my cat and a movie.
so, i can't help but feel sometimes that when hubby wants attention that. . . man, i just can't have another person needing another thing from me. i'm nanny to a two year old for 3 hours everyday and of course, have my own two year old.
hubby feels like--why can't i see him wanting time with me as me getting something as opposed to giving more?
how do you do it? do you and your spouse/significant other have any secrets to share in keeping the marriage solid and healthy? do ever get time alone?
i'd love to hear.