10 June 2006

a second child?

so, the hubby and i are talking a lot about having another baby. bb will be 2 this summer we both agree that we want at least 3 years between sibs, which would we could start "family planning" relatively soon for the second one.

in my heart i am totally game. i would love to have another. in my head, i'm worried. will we have enough money to support another one? what will it do to bb's life--will it be good for him or make him feel inadequate in some way? would we be taking too big a chance having another--the first one was/is perfect! he's healthy, happy, smart, beautiful. what if the next one wasn't healthy. could i handle that? and what about the fact that it took us nearly 2 and a half years to conceive the first time. can we handle the heartache of getting our hopes up month after month AGAIN?

say we have another. what's life going to be like? there's no way to know, but i wonder--can we handle it? having one has been hard on our marriage, you know? so, if any of you out there who have more than one have any advice, thoughts or stories about your experience going from 1 to 2 i would love to hear. is it twice as hard? what's it like to love TWO people THAT much? is it really possible?

9 comments:

beth said...

I only have one baby. But I remember asking a friend how it was to have 2 shortly after she gave birth to her second daughter. I was wondering the same types of things you are, but mainly, is 2 twice the work? Is it manageable? Having a 3 month old at the time was killer and I couldn't imagine doing that again while caring for an older child simultaneously. She said that it actually wasn't that different. They had already made the sacrifices in their lives that you need to make when you have children when they had the first one, so they didn't have to go through that again. I think it's that first one that really changes your whole lifestyle, and that doesn't need to happen again with the second because you are already there.

Mega Mom said...

Oh, it is all possible!

I'm going on my 4th in 6 1/2 yrs.

You might like this post from Bub and pie: http://bubandpie.blogspot.com/2006/06/two-top-ten-lists.html

Whitney said...

Hi Kate,

Thanks for visiting RookieMoms.com. We are also wondering when #2 should happen and how we will possibly handle it. I assume that I will never actually feel ready and that we'll just have to go for it. (Assuming that the fertility gods will be on our side.) Certainly having a toddler does not make me feel like, "gee, a newborn would be fun right now", however I think down the road to having a 5 and an 8 year old and that's what motivates me to consider it.

kate said...

beth, thanks, that is very helpful to hear.

itybtyfrog said...

It is definately possible. Things are hard at first, but it gets easier. Especially when they get bigger and they can play together. I am sure your child would love having a baby brother or sister. Life just kind of evolves and you manage to do what needs to be done. We are working on having baby #4. They are worth it for all the joy and laughs they bring into your life. Our second is a hoot. She says the funniest things. I can't imagine what life would be without her.

katie said...

We go back and forth about this constantly, such a hard decision!

Lindsay said...

i think you're wise to ask the questions and brave to do so publicly. i ask myself some of the same questions about having a potential first baby.

bubandpie said...

Bottom line, I'm a much happier mom with two than I ever was with one. Dealing with two is more frantic, of course, but it feels much more natural to me than the obsessiveness of focusing all that parenting energy on one tiny human.

And when the second one is born, you can feel that moment when your heart splits in two and starts beating double. It happens sometime within those first 24 hours. ;)

bubandpie said...
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